Admitting defeat and saving myself
(excuse my formatting and some slight errors I use my phone to type and can't change the errors or syntax after typing)
As some if you know I recently went to lynch with my ex . Lunch turned into a second chance and me agreeing to go to counseling to work on our issues since we have a daughter.
I found him shut in his apartment with the phone off and no food for four days . I decided to at least bring him food over .
He locked my daughter and I in the apartment and accused me of being on drugs and also slipping drugs into the dinner and his water.
He wouldn't let me leave with my daughter and said I had to leave her with him. Considering he was acting insane and didn't have any babyclothes, food or sanity I refusedto leave without her . I sat for four hours holding her and scared he was going to hurt me. Then all if a sudden he starts laughing and asks me if I am hungry and starts eating like none if it even happened.
I had to run out of his place and cannever go back, he stood over me for those two hours staring with his hands in fists and huffing and sneering .
I think this was the event that showed me he is beyond just an anger problem and beyond counseling. I am afraid of him as my Childs father and what that means .
I see that he is mentally disturbed in a way I didn't think possible.
I know I am doing the best thing raising my daughter without him now. She clung to him and didn't want him to let her go when we first got there . Then when he started screaming she ran to me.
In my heart I know that as a mother I must protect my daughter and can no longer put her in danger .
I don't know why it took this night to scare me into the truth . There will only be my daughter and me. He will most likely get worse and never get help .
There is no pretending or ignoring the danger he poses to me and my child.
I am comfortable with my new life , my daughter has healthy food, a nicebedtime and no fear and ugliness in her life .