When I was with my ex, the last couple of years I noticed a lot more hair seemed to be coming out in the shower. This hasn't changed, 3 months after breakup.
I saw an Intervention show - really fascinated now, in the idea of addiction, now that I"m out of the reality - and an A's young wife had very thin hair.
I'm 34, but still... Am paranoid now that I might be going bald! I'm a lady! (Well, female, anyway.)
Also, out of nowhere, my first ever grey hairs popped up. They're a couple of inches long. This didn't happen to my parents, this young... Apparently there's
truth to the idea this can be accelerated by stress.
Also I feel I've aged quite a lot - have massive bags under what used to be pretty eyes. With permanently dilated blood vessels from crying. Not meaning to depress anyone if they've got the same. Things like this are a joke to fix, compared with these relationships and the real suffering...
But, has anyone else lost or greyed hair?
-------
I can't believe the amount of regular agitation I lived with. I cried every other day. I was frightened. Vigilant. Literally nauseous & dizzy with anger, at least once a week. (And that could last 1-3 days straight, because if I were a little angry about something, he' have to top it with rage, abuse, run away, or hide, and definitely drink. Those were the options. Talking didn't work.)
I honestly don't know how long things went that way, at that frequency - I guess 2 solid years. Happened less often but regularly enough before that.
And all these emotions prime your hormones etc for more of the same, so there's a cumulative effect. Your blood pressure doesn't settle, your chemical soup is all stirred up, and something else happens to get it all worked up again, no rest.
Until I quit smoking, I'd choke it all back with cigarettes, that was all.
-----
Have other consequences, just feeling vain...
-----
One great thing. Since I left, I've been sad, anxious, angry. But it's felt NORMAL, just part of human experience. No longer an overwhelming, incapacitating wave of sheer bilious fear. In some ways, I feel braver than I ever have.
---
FYI - I've since learned that our dynamic would fall under the rubric of '
situational couple violence', according to sociologists anyway. He'd smash things, break chairs, doors; was verbally abusive in arguments or when drunk. This isn't the same as the classic abusive relationship we all know and don't love, which is called '
intimate terrorism', and involves a much more pervasive pattern of domination (behaviours include jealousy, cutting the partner off from friends/family, controlling money).
---
Sorry, this is way rambly.