The third thing, and I can't emphasize this enough, is that when you think she's been drinking she has been drinking. When you think she's hiding or stealing money, she has been hiding and stealing money. Period. You know dang well that she has been, but perhaps your desire for her to be sober, your love for her, the fact that she can still get to work, and her practiced and well-crafted lies help you to pretend she has not been, or to question your own beliefs. Don't question yourself about her drinking. You know what you know when you know it. You are right.