Originally Posted by Cyranoak

The first is that I highly recommend you go to six or more in-person Al-Anon meetings in the next two weeks. If you don't like one you've attended, try another. Sometimes people use these forums to avoid having to see people face-to-face or because they are isolated or isolating. I'm not saying you are doing this, but I can say that in my experience there is something to be experienced at an in-person meeting that simply can't be matched online. I see value in both in-person meetings and on-line forums-- together they are very powerful. Alone they help, but not at the same level.

Secondly, the fact that you cannot control your anger and behavior when drinking suggests he may not be the only one with a drinking problem, or that you may be drinking in order to handle his drinking (I did that-- highly ineffective for me). Perhaps not, but consider that it may be true.

Thirdly, it appears crystal clear from your post that you are trying to control him and his behavior, both overtly and passive agressively. In my opinion it is unlikely to result in anything other than increased anger and resentment-- on both of your parts.

Fourth, end the endless talks and they will end. Continue the endless talks and they'll be endless. Have they ever changed anything? Ever?

Lastly, get thee to an Al-Anon meeting.

This is, of course, just my opinion. Take what you want and leave the rest.

Cyranoak-

P.s. I don't wish what you are experiencing on anybody. I lived your scenario for a long time, but was in denail a lot longer. Well done figuring out something a little sooner.