The start...
It's amazing that I find myself on this website today. Only 3 weeks ago did I begin to realize I had a problem and I've been drinking heavily for 5 years.
I always found a way to justify it but when my craving became intense 3 weeks ago and I went for drink when I didn't even want it I knew I had a problem. I was out of control.
Amazing as 5 years ago when I began heavy drinking I didn't even realize you could become addicted. I thought alcoholics were a special breed of people i.e. not people like me I just liked a drink after work...but then I went to Thailand with $20,000 and nothing to do for 3 years but a correspondence degree. I ran every day, I wrote a book, studied and at night totally unplanned slipped into the nightlife scene, everyone else was drinking (group norm) I had the money, I could get a bottle of whisky (half litre) and mixers for $5 I could then listen to live music chain smoking cigarettes and no one said a word in fact it was what everyone else was doing.
5 years on I've gone from being a fit 28 year old to a barely functioning 33 year old. I've been off booze just a week and it's so frightening time has just opened up.
So funny how you never see it happening. I thought i just liked a drink.
Ironically I'm also the fittest person in my friendship group in that I can run 10kilometres at a clip and have muscles from my boxing training but underlying that I'm an alcoholic fossil. One thing to note no matter how well you box after a litre of whisky when a gang set about you there's nothing you can do. this happened to me last year I thought I was unbeatable and there I was beaten to a pulp.
I feel I'm about to get my life back and I'm totally excited no more booze and hopefully I'll finally be able to publish a book. I've written 5 but never been sober long enough to do anything about publishing them.