Well this weekend went really well.
I started to think and behave with detatchment, it came a lot easier than expected.
I made sure that I had things to do ALL weekend, it started with Sat morning out with my daughter shopping for her school formal, then we went to lunch, and I didn't even hurry home, when I realised I was late, and I knew AH had to buy beer. When I got home I did not apologise for being late either.
Then on Sat night, I went to a charity night, with heaps of friends. I did not ask AH to come, ( which I always do ) I wanted to have fun, and not be determined by AH's drinking. I had a ball. When I got home, very late, AH was sitting up AWAKE and sober, wanting to know how the night went. I was pleasant, and told the truth, that I had an excellent time, I didn't downplay.
On Sunday I went to lunch with some of my family, it was at a new pub. Once again I did not extend an invite to AH. Once again, I had a nice relaxed time.
He spent the weekend, the way he always does, doing stuff, he did the grocery shopping on sat, mowed the lawns, helped with washing. But always in the afternoon, starts to drink and continues, until he is brain dead,staring into space then falls asleep.
I even looked at him differently this past week.
I am new to SR, but not new to the ways of the AH.
Thanks to SR, I started to look at him with pity, rather than anger or dissapointment, he has become is a prisoner, within himself. The alcohol, has stripped him of his friends and fun times. It so upsetting to see.
Im starting to realise, AH may never give up, I have no control over that. The one thing I am in charge of, is my happiness. I have to put that above everything else.
But I really was heaps relaxed on the weekend, first time in a long time.