Then try not to beat yourself up about it. I see what you are getting at, but who is to say that their dad wouldn't have found any other reason to do this custody thing with you? Meaning, his actions are more about him than a reflection of anything you've done. We've ALL made mistakes as parents. We've all made choices that maybe were not the best for our kids but that is part of the lesson in parenting. Your kids aren't gonna be out robbing banks (I hope) because of a mom's poor choice in relationships. If that were the case, so many more kids would be out robbing banks! Kids are actually quite resilient.