Originally Posted by
greeteachday 
From my personal perspective, I believe that some sort of SLE - halfway house; Oxford House is pretty critical. There are many with fairly low fees that encourage the recovering folks there to get a job and pay the weekly fee themselves.
I believe it is important not just for the recovering addict to work this out on his or her own and to build up self confidence by seeing it can be done, but also so we as parents don't find ourselves sucked in to trying to control our kids' recovery. I found my codependency in many ways was worse during early recovery than it was when my kids used. So not being in that front row seat really helped us all.
I'm glad your son is safe and you will have time to continue to focus on your journey. Lots of hugs.
Greet, you are so right about this. I was that mom trying to control my sons recovery. It didn't work. The hardest thing I ever had to do was to let go and let him find his way in the world. I told him he couldn't come back here, and my sister took him in. She is worse than me with him. Both my sister and I are very codependant. We are aware of it, because we both have alot of knowledge regarding addiction and recovery. My sister didn't want my son in a sober house because she wanted him with family. It might just be a mistake, but for the past 6 months he is with my sister, and sober, and working. It's a miracle in itself. I sure hope it lasts. I think it's easier for her, because she's not the mother. The front row seat almost put me in my grave.
Thanks for sharing this. It opened my eyes to a few things, and I continue to learn and grow. Everyday, I pick up something that opens my eyes on this site. Thank You