You know, I left my husband after 6 yrs of marriage(we wound up reconciling). It should not have abeen a suprise since I cried all the time and told him almost daily that i didn't think I could take much more. But it was a huge shock for him. I really think that men just hear "wahwahwahWAHwah' like the adults in the Cherlie Brown cartoons. They are action oriented..when you pack a bag and walk outthe door that's their first clue you might not be perfectly happy.
A marraige counselor can help either way.I was WAAAY on the fence, but the therapist said even if I decided to go she could be of help because we had kids together and would have to deal with each other no matter what. So, let the therapist help you tell him.Sounds like a good idea to me.There will no doubt be fallout and having a mediator would be helpful. Good luck..it's never easy, but you'll be ok.
PS We tried that seperated in the same house thing..i was honestly afraid I would kill him, so he went to his parents.Is there ANYWHERE for either one of you to go?