Originally Posted by
myernie 
I want him to open up to me about his addiction but he hasn't yet. He has come close, talking about wanting to change his life, be the man he knows he can be, stay away from the "those people" but he has never came out with it. Now he is in the middle of a binge and he thinks he can do no wrong.
I have decided that I am not calling him, not looking for him, not giving him money, buying his cigs or letting him use my vehicle anymore but I know that is only the first step. When he calls I'm sure I'll answer. When he shows up here I will open the door.
me too, me too, me too.
i think i will never forget the words out of my man's mouth, "i want to be the man god intended me to be." and now i'm crying, dam it.
it's so weird, and so very very painful. i'm sorry.
the second part i quoted i can also relate to. i simply couldn't let the phone ring. i was about half as crazy as he was. even when i knew he was using the stuff, i still couldn't believe what was in front of my eyes.
welcome to the sober recovery forum,
myernie.
this is a wonderful site, and it is filled with compassionate folks who will support you.