Ok, when I read the first few posts, I was going to say, well if he's working a program and you're working a program, then sure, meet him to see what he has to say, but now that you say he tells you he's banging someone else, ugh! That's cruel and abusive.
There are good men out there in recovery who truly want to make amends and work on a fixing their relationships, but it doesn't sound like he's anywhere near being healthy.