myernie
Welcome to SR.....I'm so glad you found us while at the same time I'm sorry for the circumstances that bring you here.
Loving an active addict is very much like riding a roller coaster......only there is nothing fun about it.
There is actually a lot that you can begin doing to help yourself. You have already recognized that you are co-dependent......it takes some of us years to come to that realization so that's a great first step.
I found that reading as much as possible about co-dependence and addiction helped me tremendously. Melody Beattie's book "Co-Dependent No More" did a great job of helping me to recognize some of my behaviors that were not healthy for me (and in turn not healthy for the addict in my life). Reading and learning from other's here on SR has been a life saver. And attending NarAnon or Alanon meetings has been very helpful.
I have come to understand that having healthy boundaries is critical and I have also learned that although we can never love too much, we can love in the wrong ways.
Take care of yourself. Take care of your children. And let a grown man take care of himself.
I hope you stick around and share your journey with us. We all learn from one another.
gentle hugs