I thank everyone for their thoughts and opinions. I will forgive him, but I'm still hurt over it so not quite ready. The problem I'm having is that we were on our way home from food shopping and I said to him in a VERY serious manner "I feel really uncomfortable if you drink while you're out and then drive my car home" - I never said he couldn't have a beer, just not to drive. He could have said "ok then you can take me".. He didn't. He promised me that he wouldn't drink because he doesn't want me to feel bad. But he did anyway, and then proceeded to drive home in my new car. (The only car we have left btw)
While I understand that I'm far from perfect and I should be more understanding since it's ME who has the problem, not him... as I tell my kids, "2 wrongs don't make a right" .. It really doesn't give him a get out of jail free card to do wrong. I don't expect him to be perfect, but I do expect him to be responsible. I know I've messed up big time in the past and will make other mistakes as does everyone. But we're supposed to learn from mistakes, and try not to make new ones. He knows the risk of drinking and driving. And he also knew that I would be upset that he drank when I would like him to be by my side in this, which is why he rinsed out his mouth to try and hide it. That's my old trick... Like I said 2 wrongs don't make a right. He can drink.. I can't. I get that. It was a little insensitive of him to do that, and for me to be so mad about it.
I haven't decided what to say to him yet.. all I told him is that I'm mad and hurt.