don't beat yourself up, thumper. i actually think you did quite well, considering he totally disrespected your bounderies.
sounds like he was going to come over, as he had already done the travel.
unfortunately, he stopped to have a couple of drinks. that's how alcoholics handle stress...and i imagine telling his children he's moving is stressful. i'm not condoning his behavior, but if you had blocked him at the door, there is some chance he wouldn't have come back to tell the kids himself or a scene could have resulted that might have been worse for everyone's emotional state...i.e. police, neighbors, smashing down doors, whatever.
plus, you were caught off-guard.
i think you did well, everything considered.
naive