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Old 10-28-2010, 10:25 AM
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Thumper
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Join Date: Aug 2009
Posts: 3,443
Some things never change

Some things never change and I have a ways to go it seems.

Xah is moving out of state. He asked if he could come over to my house several evenings over the next week or two to see the kids. His house is empty. A month ago he was actually stopping to throw the kids' stuff in the front yard at drop off and not even taking advantage of half the visitation he had but OK - I say yes. He tells them he'll be here Wed after school, eat supper, stay until bedtime. He has asked to stay over before and I did have the sense to say no to that. So they pick a meal they think he'll like and get a movie to watch with him. I don't usually allow movies on school nights.

Not shockingly he calls at 8pm to say he's at the bar, had a 'slip' with quacking I didn't listen to, but wants to come over. Um, no. Come back tomorrow after school.

He shows up anyway! I let him in rather then make a scene. I was shocked. I moved 30 minutes away for a reason but it has been a year since we separated. He was actually at the bar in the town I live in so only minutes away. I wasn't prepared. I am now. If it ever happens again, I'm making a scene and not let him in. He had to much to drink, chose this time to tell the kids he was moving away, etc.

Why wasn't I stronger? I should not have let him in. I should have stuck up for myself and protected my home.

My 11yo cried half the night. He's so sad to see his dad go. It is devastating for them but I'm glad. I'm happy about it - is that totally evil of me. :sigh: There is so much less for me to contend with if he is out of state. He wants us all to fly out and see him over Christmas. I don't know what to do with that. I said I needed time to think about it.

Nothing new here I guess. Just felt like getting it out and I no longer talk about this stuff with IRL person because she just goes off on what i should make him do or how I should do this that or the other or I'd better not do this that or the other. To exhausting.
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