and so it goes--
perhaps consider getting some legal advice and understanding your options before communicating to him "AA or i'm gone"...
best to have your information first, then you will be in a position to exercise your options!
think it all the way through first and have a practical, realistic, do-able plan aleady worked out in some detail.
and i agree with seeking calm, unless it is his idea because HE has had enough, it's highly unlikely that AA will work for him.
naive