That has also been defining, the fact one can't enjoy ONE SINGLE NIGHT OF INNOCENT JOY without some drama. And partner was not even alcoholic.
In my case I have tried to leave 3 times and he does not let me go. He now wants to try "couple's therapy". I also know I just need to go cold turkey No Contact which feels incredibly mean...
I guess it comes to how much life we are planning to keep wasting. I have a "countdown" clock in my computer. Helps remind me I won't be around forever.
HUGS