Hey Mark, welcome to SR!
I would strongly suggest you seek support for yourself through Alanon, and let her attend her AA meetings by herself.
The best help you can be to her is to work your own program of recovery from the effects of her alcoholism.
As for her telling her parents, I'd suggest you leave that up to her, on her timetable.
"Codependent No More" by Melody Beattie is an excellent read, and I'd be surprised if you didn't get something out of it. I keep a copy at my desk.
Last but certainly not least, protect those precious children!
Keep posting, and know that you are among friends.
