Hi Mark,
You're about to get lots of input from the wonderful folks here.
I'm new to this as well but here's what has helped me:
Her recovery is her business. There is nothing you can do there.
Your recovery is your business. Taking care of yourself not only helps you but it's really the only thing you can do to help her.
Find an Al-Anon meeting near you and go. You'll find lots of other folks who have gone through exactly what your going through. It will truly uplift you and help you work on the only thing you have the power to change. You.
Please keep posting!