Thank you Keepinon,
I have gotten strength from all of you here.
I still wish there was a parents forum here. I often have to search and search for someone who can give me some advice. it is different for parents i think, for we know we do not wish to divorce that person forever. of course, we dont have to live with them either. our love never turns to hate, but i feel sorry for spouses and partners , who have to suffer to the point where they despise their a.