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Old 10-25-2010, 08:38 AM
  # 17 (permalink)  
JeremiahS
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Join Date: Mar 2010
Posts: 104
When I was new to the program I got tunnel vision on things.. self-will run riot and was the actor on the stage running the show again, even working the program was 'getting good enough' to get what I wanted then when things caved in on me it got ugly. Also got drunk eventually after a year and a half. Today it's pretty apparent to me, self-will run riot, instincts on the rampage driving me blindly.

I feel fairly immune to such shenanigans today but things just get subtler so Im still looking at step 3 and my demands on self and others. Like someone reminded me the other day 'stuff happens' the Bible says sun shines and rain falls on the good and the bad
So you where in the wrong place at the wrong time with the wrong person and it all started with your eyeballs. No human power can fix this woman's ailments and your sure not too important to get stung by her struggles the same ones she's in the middle of whether your with her or not.

Love/lust is powerful stuff I remember the bells going off the sun shining brighter the euphoria, the feeling that it was so good it had to be straight from God, absolutely deluded, head over heals before it all came out from under me and how irrational I was in hindsight. Makes me want to puke just remembering the way I could get.

If I where you, I'd get some privacy, get on your knees, and thank God this woman is out of your life.
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