Thank you chicory and Kindeyes for your responses. Yes, like I said, if it were not for my grandkids living there, I could let go of the whole situation a whole lot easier as I've had to do in the past.
I am grateful that at least my AD is aware of both her addiction and abuse so that's a beginning and awareness is the big first step for both afflictions. I know her also being bipolar is a huge detriment as well.
You know, I'll see mothers and daughters out shopping or having lunch or watch my sisters with their daughters, and I am so envious of their interactions sometimes because I've never had that with my AD. There has always been turmoil with her; first because of her bipolar disease which made her childhood almost unbearable at times for me and through her young adult and adult life with the addiction with cocaine, two troubled marriages and divorces and now this opiate addiction along with living with an abusive BF and of course alcohol during all and in between.
I also have a 44 yr. old brother who is currently in NA and actually doing well for the first time in his life and I'm grateful for that and I hope and pray my AD once again finds her way out of this addiction and out of this abusive relationship she is in.
I am prepared to take the kids if I have to and they love coming to grandma and poppy's house so that's not a problem. I realize they are in fact worried about their mom, more so with the 9 yr old. She's in this "take care of mommy mode" which worries me tremendously.
If I thought the situation warranted taking them away from their mom I would do it in a heartbeat without hesitation as I have done in the past. One more phone call from my grandkids during a fight will definately make that decision a lot quicker for me.
Thanks again!