Originally Posted by
lostfrmbetrayal 
he used.
10 years. ****and he used.
this was the first weekend since nc that my son was away with his dad. **he couldn't reach me/get to me. *he drove himself crazy when all I would have had to do was answer the fricking phone and he wouldn't have done it!
I am so responsible for the 10 years of sobriety he had that are now gone. *had I only answered the phone. *
now I feel even worse. **I shouldn't have been so selfish. *I should of helped him. **he is a person, another human being and having the knowledge of knowing I could have helped him (15 minutes on the phone.... that's it) ...but I didn't. *i failed and made a huge mistake.. *everyone is telling me nc, nc, nc. **!!!! **and this is what happens. *
I do... I feel so responsible for this. *what about his kids? his grandkids? **what now? **it all is and is all going to be my fault. **
That is the biggest pile of steaming bovine dung I've heard in some time.
When I relapsed after 4 years clean/sober, I can assure you it was no one's fault but my own.
He's a grown man, yes? He should have thought about his kids/grandkids BEFORE he used.
I robbed my daughters of having a fully and emotionally present mother all those years I stayed engaged in crappy dysfunctional relationships after I went through rehab.
Let go or be dragged.
Just be forewarned that even though you feel you may be shielding your son against this man, your son is getting dragged too because you can't tell me you are fully there for your son right now.
Been there, done that, got that t-shirt. I caused a lot of pain for both of my daughters.