Beautifully said, Naive.
KerBearz, I went through the same struggles. "Why would God not want this man to be healed so that we can be happy together and serve Him and others together?"
Honestly, in our limited human capacity, we have no idea what is best for anyone. God does, however. That's where surrender is so freeing. Admitting to ourselves that we are powerless over others, and that HP is a power greater than ourselves, allows us to find our peace. We don't have to change others, or even expect God to do so, in order to be happy.
I finally realized at one point that even though I wasn't trying to control the man in my life (we were separated by my choice), I was still trying to control the outcome through prayer. "If only he can be healed, then we can be together again and be happy."
Now I still pray for him every day, sometimes many times a day. But I don't pray for us to be together, because I don't know God's best plan for each of us. I don't pray for a certain outcome, just for him to be healed and for him to find his peace and dignity. I pray for the same things for myself. The rest of it is up to God. I gladly let him have it now.