sorry to hear that kerbearz.
i found in my relationship with my alcoholic, that i was always WAITING.
waiting for him to come off the drink, waiting for him to call, waiting for him to sober up, waiting for him to be released from jail, waiting for him to come home, waiting, waiting, waiting. i was like the loyal labrador dog, i could identify his footsteps approaching the house (where i was waiting)
as i entered recovery, i wanted to blame him for all this waiting and wasting of my life waiting.
in recovery, i began to explore, "why am i waiting?" my answer was, i'm waiting because i don't have a driver's license. i'm waiting because i don't have a social life without him (he'd pretty much shut that down by intimidating my friends), i'm waiting because i don't have any money anymore, etc.
in my relationship, gradually and insiduously, i had ended up in a position where i was waiting because i had become dependent on him for some things. this i decided i needed to change, to rely on myself more and to become truly independent and self-sufficient again.
(sitting my driving test on saturday...wish me luck!)