Dear Pinkflamingo,
You are living with an ADDICT. They believe it is no problem cause alcohol is a legal drug. Truth is you may as well be living with a heroin, meth, opiate, etc etc, addict as the behaviors can be quite similar.
To boot Alcohol is one of very few drugs that can kill a healthy person in withdrawal. Alcohol also kills 5X as many as all illegal drugs combined.
We try to hold on, rationalize, deceive ourselves, anything to not lose the person we think we love/used to know, etc etc. We take care of them, cushion their falls, cover up for them; only assists them to drink more.
Some of us choose to stay in the darkness with the living dead, some of us choose the daylight.
Really in your hands.