wow. i hadnt checked in here since i first posted this. im so surprised to see all the replies and great advice. thankyou so much to EVERYBODY here. i really dont know what all to say but thankyou.
i stayed sober the day i originally posted this, but the next day i drank again. went over to a friends house to barbecue, and that led in to drinking beer which led into an all nighter of drinking, and im sad to say i drove when i really shouldnt have been too. ended the night with a huge meal that i really shouldnt have ate. im lucky nothing bad happened beyond all that.
its hard to be in situations where you normally drink. like a bbq, or a football game. they go so well with alcohol. but i hate the consequences of drinking. and im lucky i havent gotten a dui, yet, like tallcactus said.
i guess i just have to take it one day at a time. but honestly, being sober gets boring. but maybe thats what i need to work on, how to manage being sober and keeping myself occupied, i do have alot of things i could be doing, guess im just lazy.