Originally Posted by
dollydo 
I really do not know what to say. I am just reading your posts and waiting for you to reach your bottom. I am hopeful that someday you will understand that he needs to become his own man, to forge his own way and accept responsibility for his own behavior.
You keep saying that he is not mentally capable to live on his own...where did that thought process come from? Has he ever been evaluated by a professional?
Dollydo,
I am getting it. because i am learning about alcoholism-
he was evaluated by two psychiatrists. one talked with us for 15 minutes, checked off things on her paper as she asked questions, and said bipolar 2 was her diagnosis. we did not feel that was accurate. my son was answering questions in a way that he thought would get him pills. she told him that all she would recommend was the heavy mood controlling medications. i was present for that one.
The other psyc.done a few weeks later, talked with him for an hour and a half,and she determined him to have situational depression, and that getting a job would help him. i am sure that he was very careful not to look like a drinker- he was still seeking drugs for his "anxiety"- he told me this. he would not let me go in while the 2nd evaluation was going on. he did not me to jeopardize his chances, for he knew how i felt about getting the kind of pills he wanted-zanax. I did see the papers that came in the mail for him, from second psyc.- yep i opened them, to see what she said. no determination of mental disorder.
The reason i felt he has mental issues? well, since I read the "three act play", i am not so sure of my opinion. The crazy talk of the alcoholic- always claiming to be independent (he has never), saying that it is me, that i need psyc. help. so many of the things that the alc. does and says in that "play" are what he says that make me wonder about his sanity.
I sent the link to his dad, to my daughter too, to show them. the things that he has been saying, that are so outrageous and make us think he may be mentally ill may be simply the typical alcoholic behavior defense mechanism. it gives me hope, that with the right situation, he may recover .
I really am getting it, Dollydo. It is just so hard. But, i want peace, and i want him to have the best chance possible to recover. i am afraid of the long road that it may take him on, but to stay here is surely not helping.
i am tearing down this protective wall, and i see it as the trap that it is.
I certainly do see that he needs to be his own man, no matter where that takes him. I am not the only thing keeping him alive, and it hurts him to stay here. i understand that.
chicory