I'm sorry you are sad tonight. (((Chicory)))
Do you have some Alanon readers? Sometimes I am able to pick up one of the readers, search the index for a topic and read for inspiration. Some days I just flip through and look at my notes and pages that are turned down. I can see how those pages have helped me and I can also see my growth.
Please be gentle with yourself. You are in recovery. Today you are wiser than you were weeks/months ago. Good on you!
One day at a time.