Originally Posted by
sugardaddy 
I sincerely appreciate your responses. I should probably admit that she is my ex as of 2 weeks ago. I am just trying to help someone I care about. I told her she needs to empower herself and speak up during the meeting. We are on good terms, but I refuse to be subjected to all the unnecessary drama and problems that alcoholism creates. I, myself, am not in meetings, but told her I would attend if she needed me to. She came to me (and her preacher) with her problem and I feel strongly enough about her to help her with these problems.
I recently realized that I baby people. Especially men. Treat them like babies. Ask them if they want me to go places with them they have difficulty going to alone. Like AA meetings. I do things for people they should do themselves. I really did this with my "little" brother. For DECADES. It doesn't matter if I did these things because he asked me to, or if I did these things without being asked. What matters is that you should not do for ANYONE over the age of 5, anything they are capable of doing themselves. We don't think about it while we're doing it but it really cripples people when you continuously do FOR them.
I also recently discovered that my attitude towards people I want to "help" is actually insulting. Continuing to think that they NEED me to help them delivers the message that they are unable to do it themselves, on their own. It says something about what I think about their abilities, don't you think?
I also realized that it makes me feel good to be able to help others. So I feel good when I do some things, but at WHOSE EXPENSE?
Please give her back her own struggle and her own honor. As people we need self-confidence and there is only ONE way to build that and that is the old-fashioned way: hard work and determination.
Good on you for talking about this.