(thanks for the compliment, rayn3drop)
pacapp-
i'm going to second what sesh said...i doubt her alcoholism is in its infancy. from what you've shared here, she's a full blown active alcoholic. all of the signs are there...the hiding, the denial, drinking in the morning, refusal to talk about it, the bargaining...
for myself, in order to validate my suspicions, i decided to get to the bottom of exactly how much he was drinking. everyone might not agree with me, but if i was going to split up our home of 6 years, i wanted to know for sure. i wasn't interested in controlling his drinking...i was interested in the facts so i could make my decision...
i started mixing up my routine...popping in at unexpected hours, validating where he said he was, marking bottles (best way to do this is turn the bottle upside-down and make your mark that way), reading receipts from stores, if i went on a trip, i'd come home unexpectedly a day earlier unannounced...well, you get the idea.
this method is not for everyone, but for me, i needed to know for sure. what i uncovered was mind-boggling...the amount of alcohol, lies about his pay, lies about where he was, lies about how much he drank, lies about going to work, lies, lies, lies.
naive