I remember seeing a book called Decide to Decide....and I thought to myself Decide! It took awhile. I think reading the Alanon pamphlet Merry-Go-Round helped me. I got tired of the going round and round and I was the only one willing to work on the marriage. XAH just wanted to "use" and party and drink and drug with his immature druggie friends. I was in recovery and it was strange that friends, therapist,boss, all said things to me to gently help me see my reality. I was seeing what I wanted not what it was. One friend said "He's just a drunk!"..My boss said "if your self -esteem was better you would see he isn't good for you." My therapist said "your integrity will get you out." My friend (male in recovery) "he's not good for you."(DUH)..Another in recovery (male) said he has "other issues" too....(porn). An old girlfriend said "you are just lonely." Another "you don't deserve to be treated like that." Nobody said the same thing. Another friend "he's using you." Another since I was in recovery "you have to get away from him"....actually two oldtimers said that. I slowly let go and let God. I decided to decide. I took the action. I just celebrated 6 yrs. clean and sober. He is losing his house and is still using. I heard in SR "let go or be dragged." I am not dragged anymore.DENIAL....don't even know I Am Lying. I got out of denial....gave up the fantisy...he wasn't prince charming.....I wasn't happy. I was scared, pissed, angry and frustrated. I worked the program I wished he would work. I got better.