A good friend of mine handed me the book Codependent No More when I was about your age...that was almost 20 years ago. It was back when I was in chaotic love relationship #2.
I didn't read it. I guess I wasn't ready.
Fast forward 20 years later...and recovering from chaotic relationship #3, I ended up buying that book for myself...AND I READ IT. And boy, am I glad that I did.
At such the young age as you are now, you have the ability to stop the cycle, and path you are on by making the changes within yourself that need mending. All of us here are natural born "fixers"...we inherited these traits along the way. But what we've come to realize is that the only people we can fix and change, is ourselves.
It is such a great thing now that we have the internet and places like SR.
Good for you for reaching out ABella.... so while you have those fixing tools out, how about you use them to tinker on your own engine (so to speak).
May I suggest you purchase a copy of that book for yourself, and stay here in SR...everyone here knows EXACTLY what you are feeling. We have all,and are right where you find yourself now.
Welcome aboard.