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Old 10-20-2010, 06:28 PM
  # 16 (permalink)  
forge
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Join Date: Sep 2010
Posts: 16
Originally Posted by theuncertainty View Post
Please do talk to some one at a domestic violence resource. They're confidential. Meeting with them does not commit you to any course of action, but gives you information and support. I've posted on other threads that a counselor that I went to at the beginning of the year suggested that I go talk to a case manager at the local DV shelter. I was *sure* she meant for me to see what 'real' abuse was and to show me that life with STBXAH wasn't bad - because I was telling myself it wasn't as bad as I thought (STBXAH has never hit me, but was emotionally and sexually abusive). I resisted going. I finally went, and have been going to their educational classes and support groups. It has been one of the best things I have ever done.

They can help you make safety plans, provide you with information on other services available, like support groups, counseling, legal advocates who can help explain what protective orders do and support you while securing protective orders, etc. Just being able to talk to some one face to face who completely understands is so helpful - hard, but amazing.

There is also really helpful information in the stickies (the threads at the top) about domestic violence.

I agree the others who posted, if you don't want him to come back, you don't have to let him come back. Even if he's not 'home' now, please read up on safety plans. I left STBXAH years ago and finally have safety plans in place for how to deal with seeing him.

Wishing you strength and peace.
I don't think he'd do anything to keep me here, always says he'll help me go and get things set up. He is just a very mean drinker (once he get to a certain point). Then comes the mouth, and all the rest.

I guess I don't want to talk to counselors because I already know it's abuse of every kind. I've bought a bunch of books and have been reading them.
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