Beenthere, alot of people will tell you not to worry. If your anything like me you will worry until your sick. I did that to myself when my son was out there using. It's easy for other people to say, but so hard to do when it's your child. Your right, no matter how big or old they are, they are our babies. Looking back in hindsight I now realize that the only thing my worrying did, was make me sick. It didn't do one good thing for my son, or his addiction. He has to make the decision to stop using drugs. No matter what we say or do, we are not in control. Would you consider a Naranon meeting? It's for family members who worry about addicted loved ones. It's a great program, and it will give you the tools to help take care of yourself. Your life is not less important than your sons. I didn't believe that at first. I always thought if my son is sick or dying, then I am ruined and can't be happy. Naranon helped me to realize that my sons life is his to live the way he wants to. He can do whatever he wants with his own life. My life is mine, and I had to learn to take care of myself. I always put my child before me, and I didn't know how to change after 29 years of doing that. It's about detaching in a positive way. Sometimes when we do, the addict realizes it's time to change. My heart goes out to you. I totally understand the grief and worry. Keep posting and coming back here, so many others will be along with alot of positive input. We are all in the same boat more or less. You and I are the lucky ones. We still have our sons. There are many mothers on this site, that have buried their kids. Try to look at the bright side, and hang on to the hope that your son will change his ways. GOD BLESS YOU and YOUR SON.