You know what, you are right.. I wont lie for him. I can literally turn around and say "I dont know how he is right now". "I dont know what he is doing", and I wont be lying. Its the truth because I dont.
I have only been on this board for what, 2 days tops, and I feel stronger today. I had my melt down earlier out of worry but I feel more in control of ME. My meltdown is because I have lost the control of Tim. There will be many more I am sure. Tomorrow when I wake up and I going to say that I am also in control of ME.. But I will keep praying for the say my son can say the same to himself.
It hurts, you still want to take care of them and kiss their boo boo's and I know that might sound stupid, but they are always our children no matter what their age. It hurts a lot. But I have to work on me getting well.
In answer to your question he does suffer from PTSD but the service will either put him in the brig or send him back to the war if they find out illegal drugs were being used. O tolerance so there will be no help. He will die. So they can find out about it, it all has to be done private. If it were alcohol, they would get you the help. It makes no sense. An addiction is an addiction.
Thank you all so much for your help. I am going to shed some more tears but I am going to make it through this night. Somehow I will. I am going to toss and turn and be afraid if the phone rings but I am going to make it thru this night.
Thank you for being so accepting of me. You are all angels.