Hello Beenthere, I too am the mother of an addict son. I have done all of the same things that you have. I lied for him so he wouldn't lose his residence. I worried myself sick over him. It's only natural for a mom to do that. Our children are part of us, and when they are hurting, we hurt too. Don't beat yourself up. You lied for the right reasons, even though it was the wrong thing to do. You learned from it, and that's a good thing.
On another note, does your son want to get straight? Does he lie to you all of the time regarding drug use? If he is still doing coke the bottom line is that he will eventually be found out. He will lose his apartment, and GOD only knows what else. He is lucky that he hasn't lost his life. Similar to your son, my son just lost his Grandma on his dad's side of the family, and at the time he couldn't go to her wake. He was in treatment, and had to stay there. His drug abuse has taken everything from him. Well, almost everything, thank the LORD he is still alive. It's so sad, but addicts always put their drug first. That's how the addicted brain works. Even if the addict wants to stop, their brain won't let them. It takes hard work to stop using once your addicted.
Maybe your son has some Post Traumatic Stress from being in the war. I'm sure he has seen alot of things that aren't pretty. Maybe you can reccomend some counseling and therapy. My son is 29 and he has been through alot of the same things that your son is going through. Except for the war, they have very similar problems and are close in age. The war in itself is alot for a young man to deal with.
Have you tried talking with your son? My son was very honest with me about his addiction. When he was using drugs, he lied to me all of the time. Now he is clean for the past 5 months. He said he almost died from getting high also. The thought of him using drugs makes me sick. I certainly hope things change for the better for your son.
I know what it feels like as a mom to watch her son ruin himself with drugs. It's sad, and frightening. Keep us posted on your sons progress. Sending up some prayers for your son, and your father.