i have talked a lot with my agf. she exclaims how much she loves me and wants to stop. i have believed her every time. and i still do.
but...over time her addiction has progressed and my tolerance has lessened. as much as i want to believe her and do what i can to help her, i am realizing that talking does not amount to much of anything. it has given me this sense that things will change, but they don't.
i believe in talking. i love talking. but i am also a bit to willing to believe and that has kept me stuck for a while. now that nothing has changed, talking does little for me. i think it is ok for you to calmly try talking, but with an addict you really cannot know if what they are saying is true.
is there hope? i guess there is always hope. i really believed my gf was going to go to rehab. i really believe she wanted it, but after a dozen times of it not happening i still believe she wants it, but i do not believe she is willing to do it yet. i believed there was hope, but now it is more realistic to let go of that and just see what happens. it is so very hard to lose someone to this. i would rather lose her to another guy than to addiction, but there is nothing left for me to do. and THAT is what is putting the gap in our relationship.
actions, not words are what counts