(((Katie))) - I'd always heard about "jailhouse talk" but didn't really GET it until I got that from my XABF.
I can't' say whether she's doing wrong, or not, but she's certainly putting a distance between you and her girls. I agree with setting times when she sees the girls. If she "no-shows" a time or two, I'd not be available with the girls until she shows some steady progress, but that's just me.
Hugs and prayers,
Amy