Thread: acceptance etc
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Old 10-19-2010, 02:14 PM
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steve1840
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Join Date: Feb 2009
Posts: 774
acceptance etc

however slightly it is, i feel a shift. i feel a slight awakening, like the earliest stages of possible change.

acceptance.

i am accepting that she really is an addict. she is not just using, but is an addict.

i am accepting that even though it may be beyond her control, she cannot stop right now.

i am accepting that i have to let go,


i fear she won't get help tomorrow, or the next day, or next week, but that it can be months or years.

i have seen women out there who have been addicts for 10-20 years. there are people who live that life that long and i have to accept that she may be that statistic.

i fear that i will run back out there when she asks me to.

i will not give money

i fear she can end up in a dark alley or field, alone, overdosing or beaten. alone. unable to move, unable to make a sound beyond a whisper, regretting everything.

i have to trick myself into not obsessing about how bad this all is- that she is on hard drugs, living on the streets

i have to accept that i have to worry about me, and take care of me.

i have to remember to remember this
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