Originally Posted by UsedToBeAPearl

There have been many nights where he has left and gotten into his car and drove away because for some reason or another he was mad at me. I tried and tried to get him not to drive, but trying to take his keys away just usually got me hurt by him shoving me off.


Yea, mine gets that way too. I suppose he wants me to worry when he drives off? I don't know... though I never try to stop him because I usually wish he would leave.




I would try to go to bed, but recieve phone calls at 2, 3 o'clock in the morning from him or his dad saying that he's going to committ suicide. So I'd get in my car and try to find him, which I usually would and just end up coming home on my own and he would stumble in at some other time. From there it just got worse.

Mine would follow me room to room arguing, sometimes not let me go to sleep because he thought I was supposed to listen to him?



That seemed like a blessing in disguise. He knew he really had to turn his life around and we attended AA meetings together twice. He told me he was going more often, but I don't think he ever went again. We even went to an Al-Anon meeting together, which I thought opened up his eyes as to what I was going through, but now I know it didn't.


There have been times I thought he never went to the meetings at all. I never said anything but that is what I thought.



He was sober (cold turkey) up until the end of July, that last week, I went out of the country with my family on a vacation and came back and noticed he wasnt the same. It has basically been like that up until now. He [B]says he is sober, but I know he isn't. I know how he acts and talks when he's been drinking. I know what he eyes, mouth look like etc. I can smell it! He isn't drinking every day, like he used to, but probably at least 4-5 out of 7 he does. I could never catch him doing it though!


I can usually tell if he's even had one drink- by talking on the phone.



A few weeks ago, I noticed his closet door hanging over a bit, and snooped (please don't judge, I don't like admiting this!), there is a HUGE mountain, and I mean MOUNTAIN of Vodka bottles. I know they weren't there a few months ago, so I guess I found his stash. I have caught him 3 times in the act since July, once last week (bottle under the bed comforter), but he still won't admit that he was drinking.


I've seen bottles all over the house, outside, in cars....


It's like he tries to turn it around on me, like makes me think that I'm dreaming this up because I want him so badly to drink again. I feel crazy because after a while, I actually begin to think I'm going crazy!


Yep, mine turns everything around also. It does, in fact, make me feel crazy.



I'm at my wits end and I don't know what to do. When he is sober, we are best friends and have the greatest times, but when he drinks (and there is no chance in hell he'll admit it, even if I catch him), I can't stand to be stuck in this house. I see myself being single and happy, but can't get the courage to move out! How do you move out when this person is still here! And will do ANYTHING in their power to keep you here! I understand how manipulative he is to me, yet I sit an do nothing, I feel like I am my own worst enemy.


I wish mine would go drink elsewhere. I can't stand him in the house either.


To make matters worse....it's my birthday on thursday and I am not looking forward to it as I know he'll do something to make me have the crappiest day on earth. I want to go out with some girlfriends from work (something I haven't done in 3 years because he makes it so hard for me to, or just shows up at the bar), but he's turning it on me saying that I'm going to cheat on him. What do I do!


Oh been here! He even encouraged my going out with friends, then if I did and after arriving home it was a huge interrogation. "Where did you go?" "who were you with?" "who were you talking to?" The accusations never stop.



I'm sorry, I guess I'm just rambling now, I don't even know what to say anymore. I feel stuck. I'm young, 25, and I feel like I hate my life, I feel like I wish I haden't of even met this person. I don't feel like me anymore, and I hate it. I used to be so carefree, so outgoing, I had so many friends...and now...nothing, because it's just easier to stay home, night after night, then to go out and be scared to come home and see the person he has become and hear his wrath of what I did or didn't do.


Perhaps he wants your world to revolve around him? Mine even admitted it, said "I want to be the one to make you happy". Doesn't want me to be happy without him? Odd....


I need some words of encouragement, because I don't know how much longer I can do this....

Thank you for all your support.