Hi usedtobeapearl...and WELCOME to SR. There's lots of awesome advice and support to be found here.
I've been where you are (except I was married and had a baby and a few cats and a stepson...). I know how badly it sucks.
Let me post for you the 3 C's of addiction, in case you don't know them:
You didn't CAUSE it
You can't CURE it
You can't CONTROL it
There really is nothing you can do or say to change an addict's addiction. That's entirely his choice. The only power you have is over your life. You can choose to leave or you can choose to stay.
From re-reading your post, it seems like you've got options but you're not willing to take them yet. Perhaps you haven't reached your "bottom". When you do (and I hope it's soon), maybe you'll start to see that the Universe is lining things up for you to step off the rollercoaster you're on. The options may not be perfect, but generally, things never are.
I'm 33 now. I have a 2 year old. I moved out of my marital home and back in with my parents. Real classy huh? And yet, since I've relocated, I got sole custody of my daughter, I got a quick divorce, my finances have slowly been restored, my XAH (x alcoholic husband) is not in my life anymore, my life isn't a turmoil of toxicity and pain, and I might buy my first house next year. From where I sit, the Universe paved the way for me. All I needed to do was take that first step.
I hope you keep coming back here to read and post as often as you like. SR has and continues to be my lifesaver.