Originally Posted by
seekingcalm 
Coffeelover, You are already taking the first step to doing something for yourself. You are here at SR, and you are reading and posting.
Al Anon meetings are available on-line. You don't have to decide anything today.
I understand how you feel about the lying and the deception. At the end, just before I left, I said, "Drink right in front of me if that's what you are going to do. I don't want you to hide it from me or lie to me." And so he poured himself a glass of wine right then and there, and I felt physically ill. I knew I couldn't live that way.
We are all different, even though our circumstances are so much the same at times. You will know what to do if you take some time to take care of yourself, and continue to seek support. Things will be clearer.
this was the turning point for me with xabf, though his DOC is different, the day i realized how it would make me feel if i saw him use, right before my eyes, was the same day that i decided NO MORE.
you can't subject yourself to watching someone kill themselves or throw their lives away.
your gut, your higher power, your instincts, whatever you call it. the first thing that pops in your head, that doubt, is what you need to listen to.
and then it will tell you what the next right thing to do is.
you still have control over you and your situation, just as you always have. the only thing different is what HE is doing, and really, what does that matter anyway? as long as you do what is best for yourself.
so don't become panicked, though i know that is easier said than done.