I tried Al-anon, but I gave up after 5 meeting. I, too, don't like the idea of god. And even though people kept saying that higher power can be anything I want it to be, Al-anon was just too spiritual for my liking.
I also really don't like the whole 12-step idea, and disagree with quite a few of the steps.
I quit on the first step, because I came to realize that I am NOT powerless over alcohol. I had a problem with an alcoholic, and I removed that problem from my life, by breaking up with her. But you can't really do that as a mother, so I don't really have any advice here. I believe that only one that has power over my life is myself, and no higher powers, whatever they may be, will ever gain control of my life and my will.
Melody Beattie's Codependent No More is a pretty good book, for the most part, but she also mentions god way too many times for a psychology book in my idea. But I'm ignoring those parts and only taking what I like.