There are many types and levels of detachment IMO. I started with the very simple concept of not Reacting to the alcoholic. It is practicing the inihibition of the response. Gradually, that works out to be a small step back, away from the alcoholic. Then it evolved into a different sort of listening. It was a listening where I heard and understood in a manner completely different from how I had heard and understood anyone ever before. Which translated into another, bigger step back. But I am not sure how you learn how to practice this without going to Al-Anon. I did not believe in ANY God when I decided to go to Al-Anon. Nor did I develop a belief in God as a result of going to Al-Anon.