Coffeelover, You are already taking the first step to doing something for yourself. You are here at SR, and you are reading and posting.
Al Anon meetings are available on-line. You don't have to decide anything today.
I understand how you feel about the lying and the deception. At the end, just before I left, I said, "Drink right in front of me if that's what you are going to do. I don't want you to hide it from me or lie to me." And so he poured himself a glass of wine right then and there, and I felt physically ill. I knew I couldn't live that way.
We are all different, even though our circumstances are so much the same at times. You will know what to do if you take some time to take care of yourself, and continue to seek support. Things will be clearer.