When do things begin to feel "right" again?
When do things begin to feel "right" again? When will I trust AH again?
My AH claims to be 4 weeks sober and goes to AA meetings at least once or twice a day. However, things just still don't seem right. It is little things that make me question his sobriety like falling asleep on the couch and still getting very defensive. The other night he decided he didn't want to go to an AA meeting b/c if felt a strong urge that he would stop at the gas station, so he really thought it was best to stay home. He called his sponsor and his sponsor suggested someone drive him there, which I did. He has an ignition interlock device on his car, so of course I feel like the reason he didn't want to go was because he was drinking and wouldn't be able to start his car. We were at a family event yesterday and I talked to a lot of family members and they all don't think he stopped drinking either, but nobody can say with certainty that he is drinking. AH is a very secretive alcoholic and I find it very difficult to know when he drinks unless I find the beer cans. I don't want to accuse him of drinking if he really is sober, but things just don't feel right. I feel so stupid that other people can read my husband and know that he has been drinking, but I have such a hard time seeing the same signs.
I really feel like I should know the answer to my original question...because I have been down this road before. AH was a recovered alcoholic and maintained sobriety for almost 9 years before he relapsed in January of this year. When AH got sober last time things just felt "right" and I just don't remember having these same concerns or doubts, but then again maybe I just don't remember.