I still haven't decided what to do here (i.e. apologize to have a small bit of a relationship w my brother and his family and make my parents happy). My hubby made most of the "scene" before we left the beach house- he lost it. I said one thing out of line before I said "hope you're happy - we are leaving." So I can not apologize for what my hubby said only for what I said. My hubby lost it on my sister-in-law (the big time enabler). He called her a name (which he retracted) but what hurt them the most (since its all about THEM - LOL) is he said "We will never see you again". This also really hurt my parents and crushed my 9 year old daughter. Unfortunately for sisi in law, she gets the brunt of our anger (I lost it on her 2 Thanksgivings ago) since she enables big time (mostly by being a drinker even when my brother is trying to recover, and also for putting up with anything and everything he does: out all night, spends tons of money, other women, verbal abuse, physical abuse, etc.. etc.. w/o leaving or even giving my brother any consequences.)
I'm trying to wrestle w my guilt over not having a relationship w them. Its such a risk to have it, but not having it seems so empty. As an aside my hubby doesnt speak w his sister and her family - not for addict reasons - but still - it makes me want to go out and buy more family - haha...
Thanks for everyone's 2 cents... it is very valuable and I'm learning a lot..