I understand where you are coming from. I was so impressed by my ABF's dedication to his recovery and how 'together' he seemed. Turned out that was a mirage. He worked really hard to convince me he was doing so much better than he was. Maybe your guy did the same? He may have been much more fragile then he let on. Yes so he didnt use for 2 years but how close did he come to it and how hard of a daily struggle was it for him. It is different for everyone in recovery I suspect. Some are ready, get stronger, put their lives back together while others languish and are always an inch away from using.
It is important to be realistic. Completely realistic and honest about addiction and how it controls their lives, even while in recovery. You miss the person he was showing you, the 'good' him when he isn't using. He wasn't going to discuss the person he became when he is using. I always found it interesting how when my ABF would mention his 'drinking days', he would clam up and not want to talk about it. Later on I found out that he had been in jail several times, homeless, fired from jobs, etc. I would have never thought that was the person sitting in front of me, ther person who seemed so down to earth and loving. His life while in addiction is total and complete chaos. I went through a recent relapse with him and whoo boy was it an eye opener!
I also realized that I had fallen for some fantasy. I still love him and going through his relapse actually brought us closer but I also have very strict boundaries. I will NOT ever hang out with his drinking life. I don't want him to associate me with it. You got a glimpse of all the chaos and drama that goes with an addicts life. It is very disappointing to be sure but you gotta accept that is who he REALLY is.
I know it sucks. But even if this were to work out, you have to love the real person, not the fantasy.