thank you! I can see where you are both coming from and yes, after all the years of being entangled it feels so cold to just say, it's not my problem, when he tries to talk about something. this morning he mentioned that he is worried about his future.....and i'm afraid it made me terribly angry....i jumped and spoke before i was able to stop myself and said it is a shame he waited until now to worry about his future, because i can no longer include that in anything i am concerned about. I have enough to worry about with my own future. It felt weird, but i was so mad that he waited this long to say those words.....i'm so finished with the worry and dance.